Lessons.

It has always been known that you love the people you shouldn’t and you hurt the people you love.  I, unfortunately, have committed both these errors in the past year.  Why you may ask? Well I really can’t tell you, aside from the obvious answer that I’m fucked up. I can tell you.  I’m impulsive and foolish and really don’t think about others when I act.  I get lost in the moment and just think about myself, which is immature and not okay.  This past weekend I did something that I genuinely, truly regret.  I hurt one of the people who cares so much about me and who I care deeply about.  Since we got close, I always imagined her as a bridesmaid at my wedding, but now I can’t be too sure about that.  I hurt her in the worst way possible and I’m not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself and I certainly don’t expect that from her.  I have learned more from this incident than I have from loving the wrong man.  It was a wake up call.  I need to grow up.  I feel terrible that it had to happen this way.  I just hope that one day she’ll forgive me and she can see that I’ve become a better person.  Tomorrow is a new month, the perfect time for me to stop acting like an immature college student.  I’m so done with it for real.  All I have to say is hello real world, bring it on.